Month: January 2012

Life is full of uncertainty, full of stop and do not enter signs, obstacles and anything you can imagine to keep you from climbing toward your goals. When we are in a painful situation, we sometimes can see a stairway, but because we can’t see what on the top of it, we stay where we are. We make up excuses by saying, “but there was a do not enter sign there.”

I never thought in a million years I’d be doing what I’m doing, writing a book,traveling the country to shelters inspiring women to step out of their pain, becoming a keynote speaker for corporations, mental health institutions and producing my own one woman show. The reason why I’m doing all of this is because I chose to climb up the stairs, even though I didn’t see the top. I took the unknown as a thrill. Yes I was scared. In fact there were times I was so scared I thought I was going to die. I still have moments of fear, but I keep going. You see, what I learned is that there will always be things to be scared about. That won’t change. How you handle the fear can change.

One of the amazing things I’ve seen during my visits to the shelters in California is the women I spoke to all understood they were in control of changing their life. They realized that no matter what happened to them, whether they caused themselves to end up in a shelter or circumstances caused it, they knew they can change things by changing themselves. They all seemed very aware of that. I was humbled by their stories, of pain, hope and for many fearlessness. These women are heroes of spirit.

One of the places I visited and spoke at was a hospital mental health program. Most of the audience were men. I at first wondered if I would connect to a mostly male audience, but I climbed the stairs, knowing that what was at the top I couldn’t see. I knew I had to be there and that group needed to hear me. I was amazed at the profound results.

At the end of the talk, many of the boys and men came up to me and shared their stories. They were truly taken by my talk and grateful for my time with them. And yes… They very much related to me and my message because I let go and what needed to be said just came through me that night.
The women in the audience also came over to me. One was crying. It turned out she was going through something similar to what I went through a few years back with my ex husband. She was still recovering from his abuse and was touched to see what I was doing as a result of what I’ve been through. What I learned from that night was by truly letting go and allowing your feelings, of whatever they are to be, whether it’s fear, anger, sadness or whatever come through you and trust that the stairs will take you to somewhere spectacular you will get there and touch a lot of people along the way.